Tree without Blossom - Chapter 15/20

[sunmontue]

Title: Tree without blossoms
Pairing: Kurt Hummel/David Karofsky, mention of past Kurt/Blaine, Kurt/OC and Dave/OC, Mercedes Jones/OC,
Rating: M/NC-17
Word count: ~4,000 words for this chapter
Warnings: None that I can think of as yet that aren’t already indicated by the rating.
Summary: A future!fic set in 2025 where Kurt and Dave's lives intertwine again, proving just how small the world really is, and how Fate has a twisted sense of humour. AU from end of Season 2.
Author's note: This chapter was never meant to exist (and is shorter than normal for that reason). This chapter might be classed as angsty. There's definite down points, but fluffiness at the end. Massive thanks to debraelq for being my beta. I managed to get this to her on Wednesday, so posting more frequently might happen. Thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favourites etc.

CHAPTER 1           CHAPTER 2          CHAPTER 3                CHAPTER 4        CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6           CHAPTER 7          CHAPTER 8                CHAPTER 9        CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11         CHAPTER 12        CHAPTER 13               CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - JANUARY 2026 (part two)

On Tuesday morning Kurt hits a massive pothole regarding his work. He looks at the tiny scraps of fabric, one of the few things he needs tangible evidence of to do his job and starts swearing. He'd thought his bag had been a tad too light when he'd packed it up at work. And he's left one of the books behind. He's a tactile person, he finds he can't design a costume without knowing the feel of the fabric. He has his notes, knows what percentage each of the fabrics is made up of. Whether it's silk or cotton or (shudder) lycra. He knows how each of these fabrics falls and drapes, which is difficult to sew, which melts when the iron is set too hot. What fabrics are too reflective to use under stage lights. What is too scratchy and will need lining, because otherwise the actors will bitch at him. He can't go another five days without it. One maybe. Not five.

He triple checks all his bags, making sure he definitely hasn't put it down somewhere in Dave's apartment. He knows he hasn't, but he checks anyway. He then rings Vicky.

"Have you seen the third sample book? The one for the Claudestaff film?"

"Yep. I can see it right now. It's on your desk."

Kurt frowns, because if it's on his desk at the studio, then he would have fucking well packed it.

"How long has it been on my desk?"

"Oh, since yesterday. I put it there."

Kurt closes his eyes in frustration. She's a good intern, smart, knows her stuff, has an amazing eye for detail, but has these moments of utter stupidity which he's sure are solely to drive him insane. He lets out a long sigh, because he knows she's not doing it on purpose, and she reminds him of Finn sometimes. A younger female Finn.

"Great. I haven't lost it. I kind of need it to finish off the first draft sketches."

"But you're in Chicago…"

He swears quietly under his breath, because if she wasn't so switched on when it actually came to her job he'd have gotten rid of her on day two.

"I am aware of that fact Vicky. You'll probably be seeing me tomorrow."

He hangs up before she can ask why, and rubs the screen of the phone against his forehead. He doesn't want to go back to LA. He's smack-bang in the middle of ten days away, and he could fly there and back in one day…but it's not his idea of a fun time, and to fly there, and back, to only have to fly back again on Sunday…and now he has to ring Dave and tell him. What exactly, he's not sure, because he hasn't exactly made up his mind. Screw it, maybe the answer will come to him while he tells Dave.

"Hey…sorry to ring you while you're at work," he starts, and he stops, because he really doesn't want to say what he needs to say.

"It's okay. I wouldn't have answered if I was busy. I'm just sitting in the office. Paper work…"

"Okay. Um. That's good. Look… I have to go back to LA. I've left one of my sample books at work, and I can't get any further with what I'm working on without it…and it just…sucks. But I really need it."

"That really does suck."

Kurt can hear the disappointment in his voice, and he's quiet because he already feels like shit.

"So, you going to go and pick it up, or get your intern to bring it to you?"

"I…wait. What?"

"I – "

"No, I heard you. But that's it. You're a genius. Brilliant. Thanks. I'll see you when you get home," Kurt says, and he hangs up without saying goodbye, but Dave's solution of flying Vicky out with the sample book is perfect, and while Vicky can be a complete ditz, she hasn't screwed anything up that's related to work…yet. He quickly calls Dave back, and Dave answers with a very amused hello.

"Sorry, didn't mean to hang up on you. I just need to phone Vicky. I hope you're having a good day. See you later. Bye."

"Bye."

And maybe Dave was going to say more, Kurt's not sure, because he's kind of hung up on him again. Oops.

---

The exclamation of 'you must be Kurt's best friend!' is what greets him when he comes home on Wednesday after work. He quirks an eyebrow at Kurt, who rolls his eyes in response.

"Vicky. My best friend is a black woman called Mercedes. Not a white man called Dave. You know that."

"Oh. Yeah. Then why are you staying here?"

"Because the sex is better here than at Mercedes'," Kurt replies, straight faced, and Dave bursts out laughing, heading down the hall to get changed out of his suit. He hadn't been sure what to expect with Vicky. She's friendly and bubbly and he can tell from how Kurt was talking about her yesterday that she drives him insane. He can't help but find it hilarious. When he comes back out barefoot in jeans and t-shirt he heads straight for the kitchen. Kurt has Vicky's computer set up on the table beside his, is explaining something about needing to embroider a collar, and Vicky is asking questions which aren't making Kurt annoyed. Instead he's answering with short descriptive answers.

Dave cooks dinner for the three of them before heading out to training, leaving Kurt the car so he can take Vicky back to the airport. He's kind of glad he's gotten to meet her, it means one less strange face when he goes to LA next month, although from what Kurt has said, he'll only be meeting a handful of people anyway, which is fine with him. He's looking forward to the break, he's never spent time in LA, except one of the airports while en route to some vineyards that Greg needed to visit for a job. Kurt's promised him a day off, so they can go and do the tacky touristy things together, and Dave can't help but look forward to it.

---

They're carrying out their nightly routine. And he's not freaked out about the fact that in seven days they've already developed a routine. Okay, maybe a little freaked out. Dave is brushing his teeth, and Kurt's eyes are drawn to the drawer. The same drawer he'd gone through on Monday afternoon. It's a large drawer, the largest at the bottom of a dresser, about a foot and a half high, four feet long and about three feet deep. That's a lot of space for toys. And it's fairly full.

"Have you used everything in there?" Kurt asks, and he's curious, because while he'd always thought of himself as fairly adventurous, he's never had access to that many sex toys before and is starting to feel like maybe his sex-life has been painfully vanilla. Not that he's ever minded, but he's pretty sure some of those would be like adding sprinkles, or chocolate sauce…

"Used what?' Dave asks, speaking around his toothbrush and poking his head round the door.

"The stuff in there," Kurt repeats, and this time motions with his hand toward the draw. Dave shrugs, head disappearing and then he's back in the bedroom, tiny flakes of white on one corner of his mouth.

"Yeah. Most of it. No point in having stuff I don't like or don't use…"

"I…guess that's fair. I just…I suppose I just thought you'd not have been very adventurous. Don't ask me why I would have thought that…"

"Well, I might not have been. I just lucked-out with Keegan I suppose. He's a kinky fucker, and I did say that he took my sexual education very seriously…" Dave says as he slides into the bed beside Kurt, hand going to his hip to pull him closer.

"How seriously?"

Dave pauses, and Kurt bites his lip, eyes on Dave.

"I…how much do you want to know? I mean…there's a lot. And nearly all of it involves Keegan…"

Kurt studies him for a moment, because it's one thing to know that past boyfriends exist, but to know details? Particularly about a guy still in Dave's life?

"I…can you keep it general?"

"Well, not really. I mean, you're going to know it was all with Keegan anyway…you want me to tell it in story format? I could you know…Once upon a time there were two guys called…uh…Damian and Kyle."

Kurt shoves him and Dave laughs, and he feels himself relax and Dave's hand squeezes on his hip ever so slightly. He rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling for a moment, and then looks back at Kurt.

"Keegan befriended me at a PFLAG meeting. The first one I ever went to. Mike was with me, and I think Keegan thought we were together, anyway, we became friends, then he realised that Mike and I were just friends and he asked me out…"

Dave stops for a moment, and Kurt feels slightly uncomfortable listening to this, and has no idea how he's going to feel once Dave starts actually talking about the more intimate nature of their relationship. He knows Dave still cares for Keegan, in the same way he cares for Blaine no doubt.

"Keegan was the first gay guy I ever talked to that didn't look…well…like the stereotype. He played ball and playing computer games and Xbox. He intrigued me, and he liked me…and he was hot."

Kurt bites back a grin, trying to imagine a younger looking Keegan, because he's good looking now. He remembers being taken aback by the fact that Dave had gone for a taller bigger guy than himself, but listening to Dave explain it, it makes sense. He remembers something Dave said, about not being afraid to break Keegan, and it makes even more sense.

"I still wasn't fully comfortable with the whole being gay thing. Keegan kind of took it upon himself to help me find something to like about being gay. Him and Mike combined helped me a lot…"

Kurt keeps quiet, because he knows he's probably partially to blame for Dave's issues about being gay when he was younger. Not that he ever had the vicious intent to make Dave feel bad, but he's starting to realise that he's the stereotype that Dave probably compared everything to back then, including himself. It's part of their past though, and he's not going to bring it up.

"Anyway, Keegan's an accountant. He likes lists and order and…being in control. He made a checklist, and said I had to try everything once, because he wanted me to know about everything, and have at least tried everything I was comfortable with…"

"A list? Really?" The idea intrigues him, because he'd kind of worked through a mental list of his own when he was with Blaine, wanting to try everything because it was all so new. He's learnt more as he's gotten older of course, but nothing that's resulted in him having a stash of toys…he has a few. None of which he travels with, not after an unfortunate incident while visiting Australia, when he was accused of bringing a banana into the country only for the biosecurity control officer to open his bag to find his vibrating dildo. Humiliation, thou name art Kurt Hummel.

"Yep. It was a long list."

Kurt knows his mouth is open, but he does nothing. He doesn't really need to know any more, Dave's just made it pretty clear that he's tried nearly everything at least once. He does want to know what he hasn't tried though…

"What don't you like?"

"Well, there's stuff I've never tried, because either the idea just grosses me out or I'm just plain uncomfortable with the idea…so it's not that I don't like it, I just don't want to go there…"

"I get it, now tell me," Kurt replies.

"Drawing blood. I just…it belongs in the body. I…can't inflict pain. Eh. Pain like that inflicted using whips and crops, not a spanking type of pain."

"Spanking…" Kurt repeats faintly, his mind drawing up scenarios for the paddles. "Wait…you don't like inflicting pain? Um…I've kind of noticed that you like a bit of pain though…"

Dave chuckles in soft amusement and then shrugs.

"I don't know if pain is the right word…I like hands and lips on me, pinching and biting…I like that." He shrugs again, and he's got the delicate little blush on the apple of his cheeks. "I know I don't like more than that…not pain for the sake of pain. Sometimes though…"

Kurt likes this open frank conversation they are having. It reminds him of their talk in New York, which he realises they're going to have to repeat, but with the whole 'this is actually a relationship' factored in. Which will be weird, because he still doesn't feel completely ready, but he can't deny his feelings for Dave. And he owes Dave honesty.

"Keegan liked being the dominant partner in bed. And I'm not…naturally submissive. Especially not in the way he wanted. Which was a big part of why he cheated, because we stopped communicating. He's a Dom now. Been trained and everything. Not many people know, but he's very good apparently, if you're into that sort of thing."

"That's what you meant when you said you're his type but he's not yours…"

"Mmm, an over simplification, but pretty much. He likes built guys with flesh on them. I think if I'd been happier being submissive all the time we'd still be together…"

"Oh…" Kurt's not entirely sure how he feels about that, but then realises Dave isn't ever going to become a pliant little sex-toy that will follow Keegan around on a leash. "So…anything else you don't like?"

"Meh. Not really. I don't like being held down…"

"Oh, so the ties are for you to use on someone else?"

"No, I don't mind being tied down and restrained…as long as it's with ties or purpose-built cuffs. I just don't like being held down…"

Kurt's throat is suddenly dry, the idea of Dave tied down…fuck. But he also can't really discern the difference that Dave is trying to make.

"What's the difference for you, between being held down and being tied down?"

"Being tied down shows implicit trust, willing submission. Giving up control to someone else. Someone holding me down by force? I just naturally fight back, and I…it's just something in my mind I guess. All my training is about not getting pinned down, so I instinctively fight it…"

"Oh. I…that makes sense. How about being told to lie very very still?" Kurt asks, and his voice sounds funny, scratchy, and he moves to straddle Dave's thighs.

"I can do that…" Dave replies, and Kurt can hear the hitch of breath and he grins down at him.

There's no more talking.

---

The interview leaves a bad taste in his mouth and a blackness in his heart. They always do. He's learnt how to deal with them now. Gotten better with dealing it all as well, over the years. He flicks a quick text to Kurt, telling him he's going to be late getting home, then heads to the precinct gym. It's nothing fancy, but there's a punching bag and a treadmill, and right now he needs the physical release of both. He works out until the tears mix with the sweat and then heads for the shower.

---

"I'm going first. I have to get the humiliation out of the way."

"I'm sure you're not that bad Dave…"

"Yeah, I am. Promise me you'll still love me when it's over?" Dave jokes, and Kurt's heart jumps, skips and stutters back into its normal rhythm. Something is off though, Dave's smile seems slightly brittle, like he's trying a bit too hard to have a good time.

"Always," he manages to get out, trying to sound equally joke-like. Dave grins at him as he heads up to the stage though and takes the microphone.

Kurt bites his fist, and he's not sure whether it's to stop hysterical laughter bursting forth, or to stop Dave from seeing his horrified look of embarrassment. Because he's right. He really cannot sing. Not that seems to be stopping him, he's up there effectively yelling the words out, eyes either fixed on the screen or on the ceiling. When he finishes he gets a standing ovation and lots of calls of congratulations, and Dave gets back to the table, laughing and shaking his head.

"Wow, you really can't sing can you?" Kurt mutters when he got back to the table to a round of standing applause from his workmates.

"No. But it makes everyone else feel better because they know at least they'll be better than me. And I look like a good sport."

"You are a good sport. Not many people I know are so willing to do something they're so bad at, let alone do it in a public place…"

"Gee thanks, this is doing great things for my self-esteem. We can't all be multi-talented like you," Dave mutters and Kurt laughs.

"Your self-esteem seems perfectly intact. And you're plenty multi-talented," Kurt replies, and his implication is clear, and it's picked up on by the others at the table. Mercedes mutters under her breath, and Mike just laughs out loud.

"I'm trying to enjoy myself here…" Jen says, and she's grinning, throwing a wink in his direction, and Kurt's pretty sure that between her and Karen Dave must get no peace in his life.

"So, how often does this happen?"

"Only once a year thank god…" Dave mutters, and he takes a gulp of water. He's been staying away from alcohol since New Year's, and Kurt can't say he blames him.

"And this is year number what?" Mercedes asks.

"Four," Karen supplies, and she is also slightly subdued, eyes flicking to Dave frequently, as if checking on him. Kurt doesn't know what has happened, but something has, because Karen is worried about Dave. He'd put money on it.

"So you come and…sing…once a year."

"You're polite to call it singing," Dave remarks, and he's smiling, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Kurt reaches out a hand under the table to find Dave's lacing their fingers together and squeezing slightly. Dave looks at him, lips twitching into a small smile, but his eyes soften and Kurt relaxes. Whatever it is, he isn't the cause of it.

---

He undresses with heavy limbs. He feels emotionally drained. The day he's had, followed by having to be social and happy have just exhausted him. He's not often bought to tears by his job, but the frustration and blocking he'd received today just kills him. Karen could tell he was upset. She's upset too, but has been dealing with this type of shit even longer than he has, although she's joined him a couple of times in thrashing the punching bag. Kurt though…he's pretty sure Kurt just assumes he's a beat cop. And even when he'd been doing that he'd seen some sickening things.

He feels Kurt rest a hand on his arm, eyes narrowed with concern and Dave tries to smile. Tries to push it to the side, because he doesn't want to bring this into the bedroom, or home at all really. Without saying anything Kurt finishes undressing him, fingers smoothing over tired muscles and he pushes Dave to lie down on the bed. He seems to sense that Dave doesn't want to talk, and instead starts to massage his back. It's not sexual. It warm and comforting. Loving. He buries his face in the crook of his elbow, because the tenderness in Kurt's touch might just break him into a million pieces.

Kurt folds himself around Dave as best he can, they're similar heights, so his legs nestle along the back of Dave's thighs comfortably, an arm curled beneath his head where it will no doubt loose circulation. He doesn't think Dave is asleep, but he keeps quiet, leaving Dave with his thoughts. He knows Dave will talk if he needs to. Hopes he will anyway, but he's pretty sure he's hurting right now, and this is the only thing he can think of that might help, and he can't bring himself to say the words aloud yet, so instead he mouths the words silently into the dark room. I love you.

---

The entire week he's wanted to say the words, and he's held back. He's pretty sure Kurt's not ready to hear them. Or say them. And he can't think of anything worse than telling someone you love them, then for them to stare at you blankly and say something back that isn't 'I love you too.' But he wants to do something. Say something. Something that lets Kurt know that he's in this. In it with everything he has to give, and screw the distance, because they're managing fine and have been since their trip to New York in October.

He comes up with nothing, his mind turning over ideas and disregarding them like he imagines Kurt does when organising outfits and costumes in his head. They're at the airport, Kurt hunting through his pockets, and Dave knows what he is looking for, and it hits him like a kick to the stomach. He knows what to say. Or do rather. It will say everything he wants to say, and then probably more, and he doesn't need Kurt to say anything back, just accept.

"Ha! Found them," Kurt says, and he pulls out the keys Dave had given him earlier in the week, and he starts untwining them from his own keys. Dave doesn't hesitate, he reaches out, fingers curling around Kurt's, closing around the keys, and he steps in to Kurt's space, lowering his lips to Kurt's ear and whispers 'keep them'.