Tree without Blossom - Chapter 18/20
Feb. 11th, 2012 02:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunmontueRating: M/NC-17
Word count: ~5,000 words for this chapter (~125,000 overall)
Warnings: None that the rating doesn't cover already
Summary: A future!fic set in 2025 where Kurt and Dave's lives intertwine again, proving just how small the world really is, and how Fate has a twisted sense of humour. AU from end of Season 2.
CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16 CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – MARCH 2026 (part one)
Kurt had studied his calendar long and hard, shuffled key meetings forwards and backwards, spent time organising his sample books and digitising swaths of fabric so he can use them in sketches. He doubts he’s ever been this organised before in his life, and he knows exactly the reason why. Dave. Chicago. If he wants to spend more time here, he needs everything to run smoothly in LA. This is his first visit since January, first visit since they’ve decided that this is an official relationship, so he finds himself analysing everything more closely. It isn’t a holiday. He needs to see whether he can make this work both for his and Dave’s sakes.
Dave’s left for work already and he’s set himself up on the dining room table again. He’s making a mental list of things which need to be remedied; the dining room table is not an ideal work space, mainly because he feels that he has to clear it so they can eat dinner there in the evening. He’s sure Dave wouldn’t mind him leaving it all there and them eating from their laps, or sitting at the kitchen bench, but he enjoys sitting down and having a meal with Dave at the end of the day, it’s part of being here with him. Playing with each other’s feet under the table, Dave occasionally stretching out enough to rest his foot against his cock, grinning at him as if what he’s doing is completely innocent.
Just like before they’ve slid into an easy routine, and it no longer freaks him out in the slightest. Instead, it’s reassuring that they can adapt to each other so easily. It’s his fourth day here, only a Tuesday in an entire week, when he flies back to LA on Sunday morning. Dave hasn’t altered any of his plans, simply incorporated him in to those activities Kurt has expressed an interest in joining, otherwise just leaving him to his own devices. They have dinner planned on Friday with Mike and Mercedes, but apart from that Dave is continuing with his karate training, football training and swimming. Kurt joins him in the gym in the building, runs on the treadmill, and he’s looking forward to summer when they can go running outside together. However despite being here, exercising and working and having fantastic sex he feels restless.
He usually can’t pinpoint the reasons for his restlessness so quickly, but he’s becoming more aware. Winter up north always gets to him like this. Suddenly feeling caged and confined. In LA he can get out into the open year-round. Here, well, he can get out in the open, he just risks exposure while doing so. He knows it’s not that bad, but after years of living in LA he’s pretty sure he’s softened against the elements somewhat. Thinking about it is simply increasing his need to get out of the apartment, even if it’s just to be indoors somewhere else. He calls the one person who he knows is always happy to see him.
TWB
Mercedes sits opposite Kurt and grins.
“I could get used to this you know, seeing you so much I mean. And you being so happy of course. It’s nice.”
“Well, it does make a pleasant change. A permanent one too I think.”
“Really? How permanent?” Mercedes asks, eyes lighting up and Kurt winces, knowing she’s suddenly thought that he’s talking about moving to Chicago permanently. He shakes his head.
“I meant the being happy part. But…I’ll be in Chicago as least one week a month. You’ll definitely going to be seeing more of me.”
“Is it going to be enough?”
Her expression is suddenly serious, concerned and Kurt feels touched that she so obviously wants him to be as happy as she is in her relationship.
“I… don’t know. It’ll have to be. At least to start with. I’ve already booked flights for another week at the end of the month. It’s just…difficult to work without a dedicated space which can stay a dedicated space for the entire time I’m here, you know?”
“Mmm, yeah, you do tend to spread out. So, what are you doing at the moment?”
“Packing it all up before Dave gets back from work…”
“That’s…less than ideal.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“How about his guest room? Could you spread out in there?”
“I thought about that, but I really need a desk, and it’s Dave’s guest room. Which is used for guests. Like Greg, who will be back for a visit soon.”
“Oh, his last ex?”
“Hmm. Yeah. He’s coming back for his dad’s sixtieth or something and popping in for a couple of nights to see Dave…” Kurt replies.
He’s not exactly sure how he feels about Greg visiting. He’s not worried or concerned that Dave might suddenly decide to up and leave for London, but he’s fluttery-anxious because Greg is an unknown. He hasn’t even seen a photo of the guy, because he’s always been behind the camera apparently. Dave’s described him with a shrug and a ‘he’s good looking enough I suppose’ and Kurt’s not sure if he’s being deliberately vague, or whether Dave honestly doesn’t remember what Greg looks like. It’s more likely that Dave doesn’t care.
“Does your next visit coincide with his by any chance?”
“I…yes. But the tickets were booked before Dave even mentioned it to me. So it’s not me checking up on Dave. Or scoping out the ex. Well, it wasn’t.”
“I never said it was…” Mercedes says, but her lips are pursed in amusement and Kurt can tell she’s laughing at him inwardly. He pokes his tongue out and takes a sip of his coffee. It hadn’t been the original reason, but it’s definitely an added bonus that he gets to meet Greg and make his own assessment.
“I’m curious about him though. Dave doesn’t even have any pictures of him, and he has pictures of pretty much everyone, including you.”
“Really?” Mercedes asks, looking pleased and Kurt chuckles.
“Yep, he has several digital frames, lots of pictures.” But none of me.
He finishes the thought silently, because he tries to be confident, knows there will be a reason why Dave hasn’t got any pictures of him. There are no pictures of Greg or Keegan either. Well, not of Keegan by himself. Just hanging out with the football team. He doesn’t think there are any photos of Rowan either, except there doesn’t need to be when Dave carries around a permanent reminder on his arm.
“So, we’ve chosen a date,” Mercedes says, and his attention snaps back to the tiny coffee shop.
“When?” Kurt asks, fully expecting some time next year.
“Twenty-ninth of August. This year.”
“What!? That’s only…five months away!” Kurt exclaims, eyes bugging. He can’t imagine planning a wedding in such a short time-frame but Mercedes is looking deceptively calm.
“We’re getting married in our church, where we met, and thought we could have the reception in the church hall.”
He blinks. Of course. He isn’t dealing with an over-the-top Cass wanting all the trimmings, pomp and circus. Mercedes and Mike are both big on family. He imagines a much smaller and more intimate affair than Cassie and Marcus’ wedding. Mercedes has already asked him to help plan everything, and he’d jumped at the chance, because he loves celebrations of all kinds, and it’s for his best friend.
“Also, you have to add another job to your list,” Mercedes says, and she suddenly looks nervous, as if she’s afraid of his response. Kurt leans forward, suddenly worried, because she should know by now that he would do anything for her.
“What?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to design my wedding dress…”
“Of course! I’d love to…did you think I wouldn’t want to?”
“Well, that’s not all of it…I was kind of wondering whether you’d stand up with me on the day.” Kurt just nods, because he’s biting his lips, happiness and joy bubbling up inside of him and he has to get up and hug her. She hugs back with a fierceness he hasn’t felt in a while from her, and it makes him ridiculously happy that he has more than just one excuse to be spending so much time in Chicago. She’d already told him the day after Christmas he was going to be her head-bridal-party person, but it had been happily slurred and she hadn’t mentioned it since.
“So…we have to go dress shopping and get you to try on some dresses. Then you can figure out what you like and don’t like, rather than just giving me a blank slate. That type of shit doesn’t work for your wedding day, okay?”
Mercedes smiles almost shyly, and Kurt knows she’d thought she would never get married. Had given up looking and was more content to have just her friends, family and the kids through her job. If Mike can keep her looking this happy and radiant Kurt will love him almost as much as he loves Mercedes. He means it about the wedding dresses though, needs to see her in a few to learn what looks good and what doesn’t, along with what she’s comfortable in and what colour looks best. If she even wants a shade of white. His mind is already going through ideas and patterns, and he has no idea how long he’s been lost in his thoughts when her voice breaks through.
“You know…I’ve just had a thought. I know I live like fifteen minutes away from Dave’s place, but you drive further than that to the studio, and it would probably feel like you’re actually leaving the apartment for work… You could use my office. At my place I mean. You’d probably have to dust it first.”
Kurt forces his mind to do a complete one-eighty and stares at her, his mind whirling. Mercedes’ home office is large and relatively empty, her four folders tidied away with precision on a shelf above a laptop she hardly ever touches. He opens his mouth to say something then closes it again sharply, still considering it. It’s an almost perfect solution. There’s plenty of space, it would force him to leave the apartment, he wouldn’t have to pay rental for another office he’s only going to use one (okay, maybe two) weeks a month.
“Also you could take Theo out for a run. He’d like the company during the day…”
He knows she’s trying to sell it to him, realised that making it a more appealing option will not only have him spending more time in Chicago, but more time with her. She’s right though. If he could have a place all set up for the week, a place which forces him to get out of the apartment, a place which he feels comfortable in like a second home. It’s perfect. He’d just need the means of getting here and then returning to Dave’s at the end of the day. He could hire a car, or get a cab. He’ll price it out. He earns enough to do whatever is the most convenient, however he hasn’t gotten the bank balance he has by throwing his money around either.
“I like the idea…” he starts slowly, and Mercedes’ face lights up. “But let me think about it. I still have the key you gave me back in August, and I figure you haven’t changed the alarm code?”
“Nope. So just let yourself in and make yourself at home. You should trial it out.”
Kurt smiles noncommittally, but it does seem to be a plausible solution, even just in the short term.
TWB
“Why don’t you have any pictures of me?” Kurt asks, and he’s barely through the front door, so he can tell it’s something that’s either bugging him. Yesterday he got a make-out session when he got home. He shrugs off his outside jacket and hangs it by the door, thinking over the question in his head. Kurt’s standing in the doorway through to the lounge, and he doesn’t look upset, but definitely curious. It’s like the nicknames in his phone all over again, something he apparently can’t figure out. It’s simple though, and kind of amusing.
“The only photos I have aren’t exactly ones I think you’d be happy with me having displayed in the lounge.”
Kurt flushes immediately and he knows Kurt is recalling the pictures he’s taken of them in bed together. Nothing explicit, but Kurt’s creased face and hair sticking up in several directions. Drooling. Falling half out of bed. Wrapping himself length ways in the duvet and calling himself a sushi roll. These photos are for him. Not for other people to see.
“Oh… what about pictures of Keegan or Rowan?”
“Uh…how do you think I’d feel bringing a date back here and having photos of my exs’ flicking past as I made out with my date?”
“Except for the fact that you don’t date…”
“Well, not now obviously. But I did before. I have had some horrible dates.”
Kurt doesn’t look impressed and his eyes narrow, speculative. He doesn’t want to talk about that now, so he approaches him, wraps arms around his waist and buries his nose into Kurt’s collar, inhaling deeply.
“I could get used to this far too easily…” he says, and then winces, not really wanting to have said the words aloud. Doesn’t want to have broken the easy understanding they’ve slipped into. Doesn’t want Kurt to feel guilty that they can’t be together all the time; especially when they’ve only just started out in his mind.
“Me too…” Kurt agrees, and he relaxes, smiling in to the side of Kurt’s neck before starting to lick and kiss his way around and up to his mouth. “You have football practise…training…thingee.”
“It’s over an hour away…” Dave mutters, rubbing his jaw along the side of Kurt’s, knowing the scrape and drag of his stubble does things to Kurt, makes him unusually pliable and always more than willing.
“Oh, well then…if you’re determined.”
His voice is coy, trying to sound detached and uninterested, but his body is thrust forward, moulded against his and Dave has to chuckle quietly.
“Definitely determined,” Dave murmurs, manoeuvring Kurt around so that he’s braced against the doorway, inserts a knee between his legs and Kurt loops his arms around his neck.
“So. How was your day?”
“It’s starting to look up…”
He’s ten minutes late to training.
TWB
The call from Blaine catches him unaware. They usually e-mail each other, their schedules so hectic that trying to talk on the phone becomes too difficult to even contemplate. He’s taken Mercedes’ advice. Is set himself up in her home office, and it’s proving to be a productive work environment. No distractions. Except his phone.
“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been spending so much time in Chicago?” Blaine asks, and Kurt grimaces. He’s been meaning to tell him but really doesn’t want the fifth degree. Blaine always gives his opinion on whoever he’s dating. He didn’t like Alex, wasn’t afraid to tell him so, and Kurt had distanced himself for that reason. He has to give Blaine credit for never having said ‘I told you so’ although he’s sure Blaine has thought it a couple of times.
“I…well, I’ve kind of…started seeing Dave.”
Blaine lets out a long sigh and Kurt doesn’t know how to take that without seeing the look on his face. He’s not sure whether to expect a lecture on how unhealthy the relationship is likely to be, or how he’s just jealous that he didn’t get it first.
“Yeah, I figured you had. You guys been together, what, six months now?”
“What?! No! Only since last month… well, officially since last month.”
“You guys were screwing when you were here right?”
“No. We weren’t. Well, I…we were just fooling around maybe?” Except not.
“Well, if the photos you sent through from Christmas are any indication you’re looking really good. If he’s the reason then I hope he keeps it that way. Anyway, anyone’s better than Alex.”
And there’s the kicker, and Kurt rolls his eyes, but he also knows that Blaine would move heaven and hell for him if he asked. Blaine might annoy him, but he knows he annoys Blaine right back.
“He is infinitely better than Alex. In every single possible way.”
“Oooohhh, are you going to share? I’m in the middle of a drought. I need to live vicariously through you. Tell me tell me tell me…”
“I…” he pauses. He would normally share every detail, him and Blaine learnt about sex together, have always tried to develop an open conversation about it, that if nothing else. However he now has it with Dave as well. For all aspects of his life.
“You’re in love with him.”
“Yeah. I am.”
Blaine lets out another long sigh.
“Okay. I suppose I better get to know him then…”
Kurt frowns. Blaine’s never offered to get to know any of his previous boyfriends. Has demanded to meet them, sure. Made a passing judgement and then a prediction about how long the relationship will last. And he’s nearly always been right. He suddenly doesn’t want Blaine to make a predication with Dave. Doesn’t want him to give it a time limit. Doesn’t want to know.
“He’s a different person from before. From high school I mean.”
“I would hope so. I would hope we all are. But I saw him in New York, he’s comfortable in his own skin now. Confident. Sexy. And also while Rachel was freaking out how you were going to react to him being there he was looking at you with true concern, which tells me he cares about you. Truly cares about you. It was…good to see.”
“Oh.”
He’s not sure what to say to that. He remembers Blaine saying something about Dave calming him, or how they should be together, but his overriding memory is of Blaine saying he’d go after Dave himself and his instant dislike of that scenario in his head, even though he knew Dave would never go for it.
“Mmm. Oh. Have you guys said the L word then?”
“Yeah. Last month. We’re just trying to figure out how to work this long-distance thing. My job is more flexible than his, and I’m pretty productive without people walking into my damn office all day every day. And Vicky is shaping up to actually be irreplaceable.”
“L word. That’s…good. I think it’ll work out…I mean, you guys have the same roots. You both go back to Lima for you main holidays, which will help. And as I said just before, you’re looking good.”
“Thanks,” Kurt says, and he knows he’s probably blushing, because a compliment from Blaine can still affect him. “So, what did I do to warrant a call anyway?”
“Oh, right. Yeah, I phoned your office and Vicky said you were in Chicago. Again. With Dave and Mercedes. Although she kind of made it sound like a weird three-way relationship you guys were having, but I just figured she had the wrong end of the stick. She had the wrong end of the stick right?”
“Of course she did! But if I was going to be with any woman it would definitely be Cedes’ but I just…erg. Vicky.”
Blaine is laughing loudly down the phone and Kurt pushes back from the desk in the swivel chair, twirling around, feeling stupidly carefree.
“Yeah. I tried to correct her, but she was convinced you were having sex with Mercedes but staying at Dave’s. So I had to call you on your cell.”
“Yep. I’ve set myself up in Mercedes’ home office for work. It’s only the second day, but it’s surprisingly efficient. No one bothers me and I do a visual conference with Vicky for an hour, sometimes two. I think I’m actually going to be ahead on this project time wise.”
“Projects! I remember! You know the job I e-mailed you about, the one I interviewed for two weeks ago?”
“Yeah, the one in London…”
“I got it! It’s a year contract with an option for extending. It starts in June. I’m going to London!”
His excitement is palpable and Kurt laughs. He likes London, can see Blaine there easily and knows he will like it just as much, if not more. He ends up talking to Blaine for nearly an hour, and when he ends the conversation they have plans for an epic farewell party Memorial weekend at the end of May back in Lima.
TWB
“I’m going to miss you…” Dave says the words quietly into the dark, lets them float in the air between them. Kurt’s breathing has been regular for a while, he could be asleep. He just wants to say the words aloud. Kurt flies home tomorrow, the week going by too fast for his liking.
“I’m going to miss you too… especially at night.”
“I…yeah. I know what you mean. I can handle the days without you…the nights without you however…they might just kill me.”
“Do you…not want to do this?” His voice is shaky and he immediately moves to envelope him in his arms, reassure him that if anything he means the opposite.
“If I have to choose between not seeing you one week a month or not seeing you at all? It’s a pretty easy choice for me Kurt.”
“Two weeks a month sometimes…”
“Yeah. Two weeks. You living in LA just makes me appreciate the time we do have together even more…”
“You are a romantic sap David Karofsky.”
“Guilty as charged.”
TWB
Mercedes waits for Theo to stop sniffing everything in the garden before bringing him inside for the night. She can hear Mike in the kitchen unpacking the dishwasher and she feels alarmingly content. She’s returned from work twice this week to find Kurt shutting down his gear and preparing to go back to Dave’s apartment before making him have a cup of coffee with her. She saw him last night at dinner, and again this morning when he dragged her out to try on wedding dresses.
She knows it’s selfish, but she really wants him and Dave to work out. Kurt has become his old self again, and it makes her wonder what else has been going on in his relationship with Alex that she never knew about. It’s not entirely selfish, she wants Kurt to be happy. Dave makes Kurt happy, and he’s in Chicago. She’s still worried about how the relationship is going to progress. Kurt seems to have slipped into it easily, but she’d expected a freak out before that happened. It might still come. She doesn’t know. Kurt has become more balanced, which can only be a good thing.
She knows Dave’s past. Maybe more than Kurt does, they haven’t discussed it. Mike has told her everything. She pieces it together like a patchwork quilt, talking about what she remembers of Dave in high school. The bully he was and how there was a snap change coming in the form of Santana which had been seven types of suspicious. It all makes sense now of course, looking back. It’s almost amusing. She feels Mike come to stand behind her and leans back against him.
“Do you think it says anything about us that our best friends are gay white men?”
“What, other than that we’re perfect for each other?”
Mercedes laughs and snuggles into his side. She’ll leave Kurt to deal with his own relationship and will only step in if she thinks he’s being stupid. She’s pretty sure she won’t need to.
TWB
Two weeks in LA fly by. Because he’s keeping aside the technical work to do in Chicago the more fiddly and physical parts of the job are being crammed in while he’s physically in LA. He gets a pressure blister from the scissors cutting fabric and Dave makes crude jokes about it being because it’s the hand he jerks off with, rather than giving him sympathy. It makes him laugh though. Cassie drags him out to go salsa dancing on the Saturday night, all the while complaining that she doesn’t get to see him as much with all the time he spends in Chicago.
He has dinner with Carson and Brett and almost chokes on his wine when Brett asks whether Cassie would be interested in a date. He calls her immediately, Brett’s eyes comically wide when he asks ‘hypothetically if a guy wanted your number to ask you out, should I give it to him?’ After she’d finished laughing and Kurt had informed her he was actually serious she’d replied with a ‘fuck, sure, why the hell not’. He leaves LA with Cassie and Brett set up on a date, both of them freaking out to him on several different occasions.
He’s hired a car this time, his flight arriving while Dave is teaching a children’s karate class on a Saturday morning. It suits him, because it means he’ll have his own transport. He’d thought parking was going to be difficult, but Dave’s talked to the parking co-ordinator and arranged for him to have a temporary park in the apartment building. It’s convenient, everything slotting in to place. Easy.
As he drives from the airport he’s fairly confident he can find the way to Mercedes’ place. He’s going there first, dropping of his work gear and having lunch with her before going to Dave’s. He’s delaying. Greg arrived from Toronto last night, is now staying for the entire week. Dave had sounded quite put out, and Kurt’s pretty sure they’re equally sullen that their time together is going to be intruded upon. By one of his ex’s no less. Dave can apparently be too nice for his own good.
TWB
He fishes his keys out of his pocket, and they never fail to bring a smile to his face. He knows Dave is home and he could just knock, but there is something in opening the door to his apartment for the first time after flying in. He pushes the door open with his foot, dragging his suitcase behind him. As the door closes behind him he looks up into one of the most handsome faces he’s seen in a while.
“Hi, you must be Kurt…Greg.”
“I. Yeah. Hi.” He shakes the offered hand in a bit of a daze. He recognises Greg from somewhere, and it’s disconcerting and annoying in the frustrating way of thinking you have forgotten something but can’t remember what.
“Here, let me help you with that. Flying is so tiring huh?”
“Thanks…” Watching as Greg takes his larger suitcase by the handle and sets off for Dave’s bedroom.
“Hey,” Dave greets when Kurt passes him. A warm hand snakes around him and pulls him close for a tight embrace, garment bag and all followed by a kiss that is nowhere near enough after two weeks.
“Hey.” Feels suddenly breathless as he grins up at sparkling amused eyes.
“Later. He’s going out. At least he has that much decency.”
“I think I like him already.”
TWB
Dave can tell that Kurt didn’t want to like Greg, but the more they talk the more he can tell Kurt is actually starting to like him. He can’t help but feel a little relieved. Like Keegan, Greg is important to him, and he wants Kurt to know them. He doesn’t expect Kurt to like everyone, or get on with them, but he does want him to know them. Know why he’s friends with them. Know why they’re important to him. In works in reverse as well, with Keegan getting to know Kurt and smiling slyly at him when he turns up late for training when Kurt is in town.
He’s grateful that Mike and Kurt met on an even playing field, because it allowed them both to formulate their own opinions without worrying about what he wanted. That they get on so well means more to him than he ever thought. Neither Rowan or Greg really got on with Mike, were always slightly reserved around him. He knows he treasures all his relationships, even once they are over. They’ve all helped shape him.
TWB
Dave comes back from work on Monday evening and Kurt can feel the tension and pain rolling off him. Even though he doesn’t want to he glances at Greg, who has also noticed. It irks him slightly that this man can read Dave still so easily, although he quickly realises that Dave is pretty easy to read by anyone that cares for him, Dave doesn’t hide anything of himself now.
“I need to go for a run…and then beat the shit out of a boxing bag.”
“Sure. I’m coming with you,” Kurt states, and Dave doesn’t even try to argue, so he knows it’s bad. Dave has disappeared up the hallway and as he goes to follow Greg grips his arm firmly as he walks past.
“He probably just lost one of his kids. Just…warning you.”
Kurt nods sharply but his stomach roils and heaves at just the thought of what Dave has possibly seen and done today. He knows Dave makes a conscious effort to not bring his work home with him, so when he does it must always be really bad if the expression on Greg’s face is anything to go by.
He steps into the bedroom and all of Dave’s movements are sharp and jerky, pulling out clothes and getting changed without looking up. He moves fast, knowing he’ll get left behind if he isn’t ready the second Dave walks out the door. He follows Dave in silence, raises a hand to wave at Greg and shuts the door. He half expects Dave to head outside, to go running in the thirty degree weather and is relieved when he heads for the indoor gym of the building.
He has never seen Dave workout like this before, it’s almost violent in its intensity, like he is being chased, and he has no idea how long he’s been crying before he notices tears running down his face with the sweat. Dave just keeps wiping his face with the towel, and he figures this has to be a coping mechanism, what he needs to do to work through whatever has happened. He’s stopped running himself, exhausted, ready to drop into bed immediately and he wonders if that’s part of it, making himself so physically drained that he will fall asleep instantly, not lie there awake reliving and sorting through his day in his mind.
He watches as Dave rhythmically punches the bag, the regular thumping sounds are quite soothing, but Dave hasn’t stopped crying. Silent tears though. Angry tears. And Kurt’s not sure if he’s angry at himself for being unable to stop whatever has happened, or just wants to take the law into his own hands and go out and commit murder and this is stopping him. When he eventually drops to his knees, still quiet but clearly drained and finished there’s nothing he can do except hold him and be glad that he’s here and not in LA.
