Spankies and Pompoms - Part 3
Aug. 10th, 2012 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunmontueRating: R13 (will be NC17)
Word count: ~1,200 words
Warnings: It's another cliff hanger.
Summary: AU Glee. Dave is a nerd, and Kurt is a Cheerio. Kurt needs a tutor to pull his GPA up. Cliche but fun.
Author's note: This is a companion ficlet from Kurt's POV. Will be written in little installments. Part 3 sits between chapters 8 and 9 of The Laws of Thermodynamics - just follow the links. At this stage LJ is definitely the best suited place for this fic link wise!)
THERMODYNAMICS CHAPTERS:
CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
SPANKIES AND POMPOMS:
PART ONE PART TWO
He can’t stop saying fuck under as his breath as he half-jogs to his class and a small completely hysterical part of him points out that at least he isn’t freaking out about the test anymore. He can’t believe he just kissed him. What was he thinking? He clearly wasn’t and he’s just fucked up the only half-way decent friendship with a guy he has, and all because he had smiled at him and called him Kurt. Not Hummel, but Kurt. God, if that’s the effect just saying his name has he’s glad Karofsky? Dave? Oh fuck, he could probably call him Dave now if he hadn’t kissed him. He feels like hitting his head against the wall and screaming simultaneously.
He slides into his chair and he can’t look at anyone, terrified that he might cry, and he refuses to let that happen. He listens as Mr Mallory gives instructions, informing them they have ten minutes reading time. He has no idea how he’s going to focus on a test right now, his mind just filled with Dave Karofsky. Not just the feel of another guy’s lips for the first time, but the shame that he kind of pounced on a straight guy, a friend, but he doesn’t think any level of friendship makes kissing a guy okay. A small part of him wants to do it again though, and the sheer guilt at that thought almost has him throwing up.
He flips the test paper over and his stomach is churning violently. He reads the first question though and some of the tension eases from his shoulders. He knows the answer. Steeling himself he pushes the thoughts of kissing Dave from his mind, instead focusing on the Dave that has spent hours explaining things to him, working through examples, explaining equations. He flips through the test paper, reading intently and it actually all sort of makes sense. He picks up his pen and when Mr Mallory gives them the all clear to begin he starts.
Ninety minutes later, when he’s instructed to put his pen down his hand is cramping from writing so much, but he feels like he’s done well. There was only one question that he had no idea about, so he’d just flagged it, instead focusing on the others and his first response is to tell Dave. Reality comes crashing down and he knows the sick feeling in his stomach is now solely because of what he did, no residual nerves about the test. He needs to find him and apologize, if Dave will even talk to him.
He’s torn between wanting to find him and wanting to avoid him, except it’s Wednesday, so he’ll have to face him sooner or later. Although he could just not go around to his house after school. He rubs his hands over his face briskly and Mr Mallory pauses by his desk, looking concerned.
“Everything alright there Kurt?”
“Yes sir, just glad that that’s over.” Now on to an even more difficult task.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll have done well. I’ve seen a marked improvement in your work you know.”
“Thank you sir. David is a good tutor.”
“I’m glad it’s working out.”
Smiling politely he excuses himself and exits the classroom. He needs time to think, figure out the best course of action, although he’s never backed down from confrontation since he started high school he doesn’t want to make things worse than they already are. He likes Dave. Likes talking to him, looking at him, the way he smiles and the way he feels when one of those smiles is directed solely at him. He stops walking and presses up against the wall, the realization that he’s doesn’t just have a crush on the guy, but he’s a little in love with him, hitting him hard. Fuck.
Letting out a long breath he wanders aimlessly before ending up outside the library and he huffs. If Dave isn’t in class, then this’ll be where he’s at. He might think he wants to avoid him but his feet have brought him to the one place he’s likely to be. Although it’s so close to the end of the day Dave might have already headed hom if class let out early. He heads for the table he’s noted Dave always has and feels a pang of combined disappointment and relief. The moment he has to face Dave is delayed for a little while longer. The desk isn’t empty though, Blaine Anderson is sitting there, head bowed and diligently working on something
“Hey Blaine.”
He hides a roll of the eyes at the little squeaking sound he makes, but smiles encouragingly and sits down. So he doesn’t find Blaine attractive, but he’s a gay guy, and they’re as scarce as hen’s teeth and if anyone has a chance of understanding what he’s going through right now then it is probably him. He rests his face on the cool top of the table and starts to talk, not really caring that Blaine has never actually said a word to him and is therefore unlikely to reply.
“Fuck life sucks sometimes. I get that we’re a marginalized section of society but I really didn’t do the community any favors today. It’s just… completely useless. I’m useless. I mean, it’s difficult breaking out of a stereotype anyway, but actually living up to what some people perceive…” he lets out another long sigh and turns his head to face Blaine. “Have you ever had an all-consuming crush on a straight guy?”
“Mmmhmm,” Blaine says, nodding, but lips pressed tight as if he’s trying to stop himself from talking. It’s better than nothing, although he looks a little confused, so maybe he’s a bit slow. He lets out a long resigned sigh, wondering which straight guy Blaine might have a crush on.
“But um, don’t you kind of have a crush on Dave as well?” He has to strain to hear the whisper, and he knows Blaine has a voice on him, he’s seen him perform.
“Oh fuck, is it that obvious?”
“Yes?” Blaine squeaks, but he’s still looking confused. “So who is the guy you have a crush on?”
“I told you. Dave.”
“But, um, Dave’s not straight.”
The words are whispered but he hears them loud and crystal clear and he feels his body flash cold and then it’s hot an instant later and he sits up, pushing his chair back.
“Since when?” At Blaine’s blank look he expands. “How long has he been gay?”
“Forever. Since before high school. Before I met him.”
He doesn’t know what to think hearing that, hearing that there has been another gay kid. Part of him feels elated that the guy he likes is actually gay, although rationally he knows that Dave probably doesn’t even like him. A larger part of him, the part that feels lied to and a bit betrayed, that part is absolutely furious. He doesn’t know if he says goodbye to Blaine or not, just knows he’s going to go to Dave’s house and he’s going to wait.
CHAPTER NINE
